Ti amo Roma
Four things I learned about myself during one day in the birthplace of everyone's favorite empire
A week and some change ago today, I was tossing the spare change from the bottom of my purse into the Trevi Fountain.
I wasn’t supposed to be in Rome. But then I remembered that I’m in my early 30s, I have no one waiting for me in Texas, and I’ve been daydreaming about going to Rome since I was a teenager. So I made some adjustments to the home journey of my work trip.
See, as it turns out, 15-year-old me thinks about the Roman Empire more than anyone’s TikTok boyfriend.
I’m not sure what my inner teenager was expecting necessarily, but these 24 hours did serve to crystalize a few things for my outer 30something:
It’s time to stop saving experiences.
I spent my 20s saving experiences for later — for a mythical and unknown “when.” In retrospect, I don’t know what I was waiting for.
In the last 10 months, I’ve traveled more than in the last 10 years. And each time, I come home a little less sure that’s the right name for the location I’m returning to, and even more sure that there’s more I still have to see and do.
I don’t need to value what society values.
Maybe this is more of realization 1a, but over the last couple of years, I’ve put too much weight into hitting certain milestones, rather than on what actually sparks joy to me. Maybe milestones are something we get to define for ourselves.
My most painful experiences have come from forcing myself into spaces that are too small for me.
Whether it’s a job, a city, a relationship, a course of study, or something else entirely, I’ve learned that the things that aren’t meant for us will often hurt us. There’s a healing freedom from letting these things go, even if it isn’t by choice initially.
I can find pieces of home wherever I am.
I’ve always been the person who goes on vacation anywhere and immediately starts asking “Should I move here?” I used to think that I must just be going to truly incredible places (spoiler alert: not always), but lately I’ve been seeing that this is a reflection of me. I’m able to feel comfortable and at home wherever I am, because I’m able to find little pieces of common ground that remind me of who I am. So technically, I guess that means I could move just about anywhere.
Short and sweet today :)
I’m still getting into a Substack groove here, so thanks for being along for the ride, XOXO