Bring back City Beautiful
North American industrial design is ruining my life - and probably yours too
I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I say that dating as a whole is being hijacked by the American urban planning community.
Hear me out.
**cue Carrie Bradshaw complex**
Grey is in fact how I would describe the major cities of the US. Our cities, towns, and general environments would never be accused of prioritizing form over function.
Walking the streets of Paris this spring, I couldn’t help but notice the details of beauty in everything. Here was a random door that had minimal significance, and yet was crafted as an ornate homage to … something bigger than the function of opening and closing, providing an entry way. Form comes first, function comes second.
This is in such stark contrast to most American cities. As a society, we have to try harder to find pockets of beauty. In many cases, we even have to pay a premium for it.
Minimalistic, streamlined, efficient, modern, industrial.
Now what does all of this have to do with dating?
Glad you asked.
Beauty is a value. Beauty is a deep inhale. Beauty is the peace of letting life unfold as it will. Beauty is the source of life. Beauty is not caring whether you arrive late because you are so appreciative of what’s in front of you that you have nowhere else you truly need to be.
Following suit with how we’ve modernized our cities, our homes, and our common spaces, dating - the art of connecting with and learning another human being - is not actually beautiful anymore.
Dating is, in fact, streamlined, strategized, and sponsored by over-consumption.
Literally just download Tinder if you don’t believe me. The UX of that app doesn’t exist in the same solar system as beauty.
If we as a society no longer value beauty in our world, how can we say we value it in our interactions with each other?
We value it in other people only in as much as we can conquer it, attempt to own or mimic it. There is no authentic appreciation of it as it exists. There is no intentional cultivation of a space where beauty can flourish.
Beauty is not merely a gift from the universe bestowed upon only a select few. Beauty is co-created by each and every one of us. Beauty is, in fact, in the eye of the beholder, nurtured through the intentional appreciation of its existence.
We don’t look at dating as anything besides a mean to an end: the fastest, most efficient way to get to our desired destination, wherever that may be.
It’s a task. It’s a roadmap. It’s a strategy designed merely to meet a goal.
But what if instead, it was that door in Paris?
Yes, we need to cross the threshold. We have places to be. But if we’re going in that direction anyway, why can’t we at least make the doorway something to admire? Something to linger idly at, marveling at how the mere craftsmanship tells us a bigger story, at peace with where we stand and unhurried over making the final step.
It can only be beautiful if we create it as such.
And it can only stay beautiful if we behold it.